Fresh fish and house guests

My friend Spencer sent me a text the other day that read ‘Old adage: Fresh fish and house guests go off after three days.’

a cloud.  as opposed to a cloudy head

After having Cheeko, Hughsey and the Afghan breeze into town over New Year, I learnt the following things after spending 6 nights out of 6 on the smash with my friends from back home;

1. When playing cards for money and drinking fines, never EVER, be caught holding the two wild card jokers when the game ends. Bad stuff happens.

2. Throwing up naked off the balcony at 1am on New Year’s Eve is never good but especially when you have to go down with a shovel the next morning and clear up the mess from your neighbour’s garden.

3. Intermarché supermarket ’33 Export’ beer is filthy stuff. Any beer that makes you shudder every time you drink it is bad and it’s not big or clever to drink two crates of it.

4. When your mate says that he is a beginner snowboarder, take him at his word and assume the worst. An afternoon spent lapping him on the beginner slope while skiing with only one ski on is only fun for so long.

5. The altitude affects friends in different ways. If one looks like he is about to have a heart attack due to heavy drinking fines and the long walk into town, by all means go and check on him but not in the condition referred to in point 2 above.

6. When your mate coasts into town from the other side of the world on metaphorical fumes and is not accompanied by his wife, there is usually a reason and you should assume the worst.

7. A diet of crisps and beer is not conducive to a good day on the mountain or fragrant smells from the only toilet in the apartment. A man to can ratio of 4 to 1 is bad in any situation.

8. Sloopy’s discotheque is sensational when you are absolutely spannered but not the following day when you are searching around the back of the chairs looking for the coat that you lost the night before.

In the end, I was sad to see the boys go but in a way quite glad. When you have your mates out to visit, it’s super but they are on holiday and act accordingly.

They want to drink tourist drinks like pints, jagerbombs and shots and want to laze about and do nothing or do everything. This sounds a little harsh but the reality is that we are working out here and it’s difficult to do a professional day job when you’ve been setting fire to the bar in the discotheque until 5am.

So boys, if you are reading this, it was great to see you but long weekends are all I can handle from now on…

x x x

published here

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